Ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about the relationships that never left our hearts the same again.
If your heart has never been broken, kindly skip this blog
because this is clearly not for you. This is for those who will effortlessly relate because they are either going through it or have come out of it.
I remember my therapist explaining something similar when I was battling depression in 2019. This was also one of the reasons why he put me on anti depressants for nine months to help get my serotonin levels back to normal healthy levels.
The healing process begins when you…..
The first step in the healing process is acceptance. You need to come to terms with the relationships failure and accepting the fact that the person you loved didn’t love or stopped loving you back. You never want to be that person in denial who tries so hard to fix things because you still want to be in the relationship.Some man of God one-time said that you would rather be heartbroken while single than when you are married.The biggest mistake people make is moving on without healing from their past. People carry baggage to their new relationships sometimes treating their new partners terribly because they didn’t sort the underlying past issue hence finishing their frustrations on their new partner.
2.Mourn the end of your relationship.
Cry it out, curse it out, eat it out,talk it out, write it out, speak it out and most importantly pray it out. Never feel embarrassed to go back to God broken because his loving arms are always ready to help heal the pain and piece you back up. Apply any avenue which symbolizes you mourning the end of your relationship. Give yourself time to grieve this person who you had created a soul tie with. People don’t just wake up and forget about someone they had an emotional attachment to. If you thought you could, you are lying to yourself. It is true what they say about time, it heals all wounds. Give yourself time to reflect and prepare your brain for life without this person.
This is one thing that personally helped to pull me out of depression. I started to put focus on myself. Love and take care of yourself so hard that when someone makes you feel inadequate,you are able to quickly point it out. My therapist onetime during our therapy sessions told me that ” Mary you fall in the category of people who love others so hard but forget to leave a percentage for themselves” I got to learn that it is that percentage which keeps you sane Incase someone breaks your heart. Turns out,the damage is not as equally devastating as someone who put all their eggs in one basket. The kind of loving where this person becomes your life. How about you create your own happiness. I believe you know yourself best. Personally I take myself out for ice cream, love chocolate and cake, flowers, good sensual music etc Once in a while I create sometime for myself and just meditate. So what are some of those things you love that you had put aside?
4.Learn from the heart break.
Be better. Any humble person should be able to accept defeat and learn from it. All the heartbreaks in my past have taught me how never to settle for less, know exactly what I want, not to compromise my faith, salvation, NEVEEEEER to unequally Yoke again and trusting that God has the best partner for me. We might know what we want but he knows what we need.
5.Get closure if necessary.
There is nothing soothing like having closure with someone you once loved. If you are currently struggling with moving on, I recommend you kindly reach out to this individual and pour your heart out. Not to fix the relationship, rather to understand their side of their story. Why they made the decision they made to leave you. In August 2019 during my last therapy session, I asked my therapist wether I could reach out to the person who shattered my heart for a little bit of closure. For this particular ex, he advised me not to but introduced me to this form of release writing therapy. I wrote everything down I imagined I would say to him, in tears by the way and after burnt the letter as a symbol of finally letting go. Incase you are not able to access the person who broke your heart for complicated reasons, write them a letter. However, you don’t need to send it.
As insensitive as it may sound, please move on. You can’t force someone to want you, like they are doing you a favor. Your feelings need to be reciprocated by the other individual too. I have always treated heart breaks as God saving me from something. Incase you hadn’t thought about it yet, you honestly deserve better. To love and be loved. To be appreciated, understood and seen. A kind of companionship which is good for your mental health too.
Iam far from perfect, never will be so if there is anyone out there whose heart I broke, from the bottom of my now healed heart, I AM SORRY. I pray that you may find it within you to forgive me.
I wrote this with utmost empathy for anyone out there struggling with a broken heart. To let you know that I know what you are going through and encourage you to choose you in this bitter experience you are going through or have come out of but still struggling to make peace with. Your mind, body and soul need you to help fix your heart because it is the fountain of life. The right person for you will eventually show up, will love you the way you have always deserved to be loved. If the right person for some EXTREMELY sad reason fails to show up( which I doubt 😄), then how about you become your own everything?
Never be afraid of wanting better for yourself.
Dear my Heavenly God, before you are your children looking for peace of mind, answers to heal and patch up the pain in their hearts. May you be the reason for their healing, may their rejection turn into a unique glory that will prove that you never left them when then were hurting. May you remould them the way you are still doing to me to one-day be a breathing example of the strength they had to overcome that pain in their hearts. In Jesus’s mighty name I have prayed,amen.