Thought

Often,
I’ve been told by other’s that they appreciate my writings….
I’ve also been questioned for my openness, questioned on my sharing of my deepest feelings. .. Seem at times some people simply wish I’d shut up... I guess society is lead to believe those deepest feelings are meant for only a select few, like family and goods friends. .

I see it differently. …
Maybe because of the two people who taught me to be me..
Maybe because of the path my life has taken me down. ..
Maybe because of my belief that sharing some very personal feelings might ease the hurt that others are experiencing, motivate those who are less confident and inspire those that are the less driven. …. By no means

do I seek to be praised for my unwanted earned wisdom, truth be told it’s all part of my healing, it’s meant to motive me. ..
Yes There are day’s where I believe none of that seems possible…
Then I make myself remove the blinders that try to keep me from seeing and thinking about all God has blessed me with,
I make myself remember the growth that accrued in my toughest and hardest moments… I found this in the weirdest of ways, at a time where I wondered what my purpose would be,
I share to heal and help that is all.
If it offends you, don’t read, if it helps you, then my openness has a purpose….

facebook jailed me

Hi folks,

My time in facebook jail appeared to be over.!!!I had the misfortune to be banned from facebook this week from monday to Thursday. I’ve suffered from facebook glitches before, whole days when I was unable to like or post or even comment, but nothing like this total block that lasted four very long days.!! At first I wasn’t too concerned, I assumed it was just another glitch which would sort itself out, so I did all the usual things – I changed my password, uninstalled and reinstalled the app, powered my tablet down and switched it back on and reported the fault to fb help settings– who, FYI, are harder than God to contact.!!!!

Nothing worked….
With rising concern, I realised every time I tried to do anything, a little message would pop up informing me that I’d been blocked for violating facebook community standards! Now, I had no idea what that meant and asked among my friends who are a bit more social media savvy than me.

They informed me it meant I’d either done something facebook didn’t approve of – maybe posted a few too many times in one day or liked and commented too quickly, all of which would cast doubt on my humanity and make them believe I was a robot! Or, another possibility was someone had reported me for something, and my account had been temporarily blocked while the accusation was looked into. This was an unpleasant thought. My facebook feed is innocence itself, I post about my daily views or sharing my thoughts, so I know if anyone did report me it was purely from malicious spite and that doesn’t sit well with me. Desperately, I tried to keep the momentum up in my websiteblog alone, and friends and supporters valiantly tried to help, sharing the post in their stories and on their feeds. Unable to comment back, like or follow back the people who’d followed me and entered into the giveaway, I would constantly scan my notifications and carefully make a note of anyone who’d entered. Finally, Thursday evening I discovered I was able to like peoples posts again and comment. Tentatively, I tried a test post and discovered to my joy that it was allowed. My time in facebook jail appeared to be over.!!

I still don’t know what it was I was supposed to have done.Facebook are harsh dictators and give no reasons for their actions. Paranoid that we all might be bots using their precious platform for nefarious goings on, the infamous facebook algorithms tend to use a sledgehammer to crack open a nut and many innocent accounts like my own get shattered in the process. What got me the most was there was no comeback, no friendly helpline to explain the situation to and gain reassurance from. Come on facebook, you are becoming one of the biggest social media platforms in the world, surely, it’s time to develop the infrastructure to support your clientele. Instead of just arbitrarily sentencing without giving the accused any explanation of their crime and no chance to defend or excuse themselves, why not give us a way to contact you? Instead you lurk behind automated systems and refuse to make genuine contact with us. What are you hiding? Oh, the irony if an organisation terrified of being infiltrated by bots is actually completely run by bots itself. I hated being blocked from my own account. It may sound ridiculous and like a first world problem, but until it was taken away from me, I hadn’t realised how much I depended upon facebook. Not just for promoting friendship,love etc.,

Those four days in facebook jail made me realise something else. Like many of us, I’d been guilty of putting all my eggs into one basket. Loving the nice cosiness of facebook, I’d neglected to look for other platforms and other ways to spread the word or etc….. Oh, I’m on Instagram of course, but have to admit I’m not a great fan of it, and even in the two short years I’ve been on it have noticed a change in the nature of the posts.

Facebook now is a gossipy, toxic hotbed of slander, bitching and complaining. !

Para sa mga Sugatang Puso

Ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about the relationships that never left our hearts the same again.If your heart has never been broken, kindly skip this blog because this is clearly not for you. This is for those who will effortlessly relate because they are either going through it or have come out of it.

I remember my therapist explaining something similar when I was battling depression in 2019. This was also one of the reasons why he put me on anti depressants for nine months to help get my serotonin levels back to normal healthy levels.

The healing process begins when you…..

1.Accept it.

The first step in the healing process is acceptance. You need to come to terms with the relationships failure and accepting the fact that the person you loved didn’t love or stopped loving you back. You never want to be that person in denial who tries so hard to fix things because you still want to be in the relationship.Some man of God one-time said that you would rather be heartbroken while single than when you are married.The biggest mistake people make is moving on without healing from their past. People carry baggage to their new relationships sometimes treating their new partners terribly because they didn’t sort the underlying past issue hence finishing their frustrations on their new partner.

2.Mourn the end of your relationship.

Cry it out, curse it out, eat it out,talk it out, write it out, speak it out and most importantly pray it out. Never feel embarrassed to go back to God broken because his loving arms are always ready to help heal the pain and piece you back up. Apply any avenue which symbolizes you mourning the end of your relationship. Give yourself time to grieve this person who you had created a soul tie with. People don’t just wake up and forget about someone they had an emotional attachment to. If you thought you could, you are lying to yourself. It is true what they say about time, it heals all wounds. Give yourself time to reflect and prepare your brain for life without this person.

3.Self-love.

This is one thing that personally helped to pull me out of depression. I started to put focus on myself. Love and take care of yourself so hard that when someone makes you feel inadequate,you are able to quickly point it out. My therapist onetime during our therapy sessions told me that ” Mary you fall in the category of people who love others so hard but forget to leave a percentage for themselves” I got to learn that it is that percentage which keeps you sane Incase someone breaks your heart. Turns out,the damage is not as equally devastating as someone who put all their eggs in one basket. The kind of loving where this person becomes your life. How about you create your own happiness. I believe you know yourself best. Personally I take myself out for ice cream, love chocolate and cake, flowers, good sensual music etc Once in a while I create sometime for myself and just meditate. So what are some of those things you love that you had put aside?

4.Learn from the heart break.

Be better. Any humble person should be able to accept defeat and learn from it. All the heartbreaks in my past have taught me how never to settle for less, know exactly what I want, not to compromise my faith, salvation, NEVEEEEER to unequally Yoke again and trusting that God has the best partner for me. We might know what we want but he knows what we need.

5.Get closure if necessary.

There is nothing soothing like having closure with someone you once loved. If you are currently struggling with moving on, I recommend you kindly reach out to this individual and pour your heart out. Not to fix the relationship, rather to understand their side of their story. Why they made the decision they made to leave you. In August 2019 during my last therapy session, I asked my therapist wether I could reach out to the person who shattered my heart for a little bit of closure. For this particular ex, he advised me not to but introduced me to this form of release writing therapy. I wrote everything down I imagined I would say to him, in tears by the way and after burnt the letter as a symbol of finally letting go. Incase you are not able to access the person who broke your heart for complicated reasons, write them a letter. However, you don’t need to send it.

6.Move on.

As insensitive as it may sound, please move on. You can’t force someone to want you, like they are doing you a favor. Your feelings need to be reciprocated by the other individual too. I have always treated heart breaks as God saving me from something. Incase you hadn’t thought about it yet, you honestly deserve better. To love and be loved. To be appreciated, understood and seen. A kind of companionship which is good for your mental health too.

Iam far from perfect, never will be so if there is anyone out there whose heart I broke, from the bottom of my now healed heart, I AM SORRY. I pray that you may find it within you to forgive me.

I wrote this with utmost empathy for anyone out there struggling with a broken heart. To let you know that I know what you are going through and encourage you to choose you in this bitter experience you are going through or have come out of but still struggling to make peace with. Your mind, body and soul need you to help fix your heart because it is the fountain of life. The right person for you will eventually show up, will love you the way you have always deserved to be loved. If the right person for some EXTREMELY sad reason fails to show up( which I doubt 😄), then how about you become your own everything?

Never be afraid of wanting better for yourself.

Dear my Heavenly God, before you are your children looking for peace of mind, answers to heal and patch up the pain in their hearts. May you be the reason for their healing, may their rejection turn into a unique glory that will prove that you never left them when then were hurting. May you remould them the way you are still doing to me to one-day be a breathing example of the strength they had to overcome that pain in their hearts. In Jesus’s mighty name I have prayed,amen.

Know more about yourself and Master your own self,

Pag nakilala mo ng husto ang sarili mo at kilala mo sya sa bawat reaction at aksyon ng life mo, your intentions and your being — it’s almost a joke when someone is trying to tell you about you.

Many of us think that we live in this world 🌍 but the world that matters, is what you have in you. Walang nakaka kilala sa iyo pero ikaw lang, kaya I hope you make decisions based on yourself — not based on anybody else or sa sasabihin ng ibang tao.

I hope you find ways for you to carry youself well and be independent ng maaga kasi independence is freedom. Mas may choices ka sa sarili mo if you know how to make money, if you know how to make decisions sa life mo that is right for you.

Yes! Go and drive you own world, no matter how crazy you’ll drive it pero ikaw yung nag ddrive, ikaw ang nag dedecide. Ikaw ay tunay na natututo kasi wala kang ibang ibblame bakit jan ka napunta kaka drive. Ang saya nyan, lalo sa success! Wow na wow pag naka rating na sa destination at sa gusto mong puntahan dahil sinunod mo ang sarili mo. 🙌🏻

Ang tunay na mayamang tao ay yung may freedom — freedom to express sino sya at freedom to do things na gusto nya.

Be independent | Know more yourself and Master your own self, that is the most exciting in your life

lifemotivation

inspiration

Normal Lang Na May Panlalamig ang isang relasyon.

It’s okay, it’s normal kung dumating kayo sa point na parang wala ng sparks, yung tipong napakadalang na ng kilig moments dahil busy na kayo, normal lang yan. Para sa akin ha, pero yung totally na wala na, ibang usapan na ‘yun, yung tipong ngumingiti na siya ng hindi ikaw ang dahilan….
Pero kapag dumating kayo sa punto na, wala ng init wala ng baga ang pagmamahalan, huwag sana kayo sumuko, huwag niyo sana itapon ang lahat. Kung dumating kayo sa puntong parang wala na ang lahat at ang tanging solusyon nalang ay putulin, huwag muna. Bumalik ka sa umpisa, bumalik ka sa pinaka- una. Doon mo mapagtatanto, kasi babalik ka sa pinakauna eh, dun sa mga panahaong nakakakilig pa at doon mo tanungin ang sarili mo ” bakit ko nga ba ito mahal, bakit ko nga ba ito pinapasaya? Ano na nga ba yung purpose kung bakit ko pinapasaya itong taong ‘to” at ” bakit ko nga ba ito sinagot? anong purpose? pinapasok ko lang ba siya sa buhay ko, para sa ano?” Isipin niyo kung bakit naging kayo, isipin mo ba’t ka nag-commit sa taong ‘to. Kasi dun babalik ang lahat eh, sisiksik sa utak mo na ” ah itong taong ‘to, hindi maaring mawala ‘to sa buhay ko, kasi mahal na mahal ko ‘to.”

Yan ang mali sa atin eh, mali ang pagkakaintindi natin sa salitang “Pag-ibig” na dapat araw-araw happy ka, ang ibig sabihin ng “Pag-ibig” ay pinili mong maging happy sa taong kasama mo, through ups and downs, o kahit sa ano pang gawin ng tadhana, pipiliin mong mag-stay, pipiliin mo siya kasi pinili mong magmahal, kasi ika nga nila love is a choice.😂😂😂😂😍😍😍😍

KUMUSTA?

Kumusta? Simpleng tanong pero madalas walang oras na sagutin. Minsan nga hindi pa totoo ang sagot.

Masaya ka pa ba?
O patuloy na nagpapanggap na masaya?

Do you still have hope o nagsasawa ka ng lumaban?

‘Yung totoo, are you really actually fine? Maybe some of us are getting stressed and depressed dahil sa tambak na mga gawain....School man ‘yan, house chores, trabaho, jowa at kung anu-ano pa... Minsan nga kahit sa simpleng problem lang ay mapapaiyak ka dahil kahit anong gawin mo ay hindi mo talaga maintindihan... You tried your best na pakalmahin ang sarili mo but tears didn’t stop..... I just want to say… “Good job.” Good job dahil binibigyan mo ng panahon ang sarili mong maglabas ng mga emosyon. To care about your future, to reach out. But please always remind yourself that you are a human. Hindi ka isang robot na manhid at hindi napapagod. Don’t curse yourself for having these feelings! You heard it said na puro emosyon kapag walang devotion. That’s true but emotion itself is not evil. Why would God made us as emotional beings in the first place if it is evil?

Everything that God has made is good. So, we should not refuse anything that he has made. Instead, we should receive it and thank God for it.

It’s okay to be emotional because it is valid. But make sure to run to Jesus and not run away from Him. Because when we are emotional, we are being vulnerable. It’s easy to believe the lies rather than the truth because we tend to abandon our identity and think that we don’t have faith.
Sometimes, we may twist the scriptures, or worse, call it lies.

If there are times na nawawalan ka na ng motibasyon, ask this question to yourself,
“Para kanino ba ako bumabangon?”

But whatever you are feeling and believing right now, it doesn’t change the fact that Jesus loves and cares for you deeply.

Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel. You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines.(Jeremiah 31:3‭-‬4)

Sulat sa aking Hon

Hon,

Noong una kong nakita at inisa isa ang mga pictures mo sa Facebook kahit di naman talaga tayo magkakilala pakiramdam ko, ikaw na ‘yung matagal ko nang hinahanap… At hindi nga naman ako nagkamali, dahil minahal mo ako sa lahat ng likot at gulo ng utak ko. Minahal mo ang pinakamalalim at pinakapangit na parte ng pagkatao ko na kahit kailan, walang nangahas na languyin. Kaya ‘nung mga panahon na ‘yon, di ko man nasabi sa’yo, nagpapasalamat ako.

Sa sobrang tagal ng panahon, nasanay akong mag-isa. Sa kahit anong lungkot, hirap at pagod, sarili ko lang ang inaasahan. Pero ‘nung dumating ka, pakiramdam ko alam ko na kung saan ako uuwi sa t’wing mapapagod ako sa laban ng buhay. Na sa kahit anong mangyari sa akin, kung hindi ko man kayanin, alam kong nar’yan kang sasalo sa akin.

Wala akong gustong sabihin, gawin at iparamdam araw-araw kundi mahal kita hangga’t kaya ko, sa paraang alam ko. Mula noong unang araw na sinabi ko sa sarili kong mahal na talaga kita, minahal na kita nang sobra–higit pa sa pagmamahal na iniisip mo. Walang preno-preno pagdating sa’yo. Buong-buo kong ibinigay ang puso ko sa’yo kasi iniisip ko na ikaw na ang gusto kong makasama sa salimuot ng buhay na mayroon tayo.

Kahit sa mga araw na pakiramdam natin, ang hirap mahalin ng isa’t-isa at dumadating sa punto na kumakalas na tayong dalwa, pinipili kong kapitan ka, tulad ng pagkapit mo sa akin. May mga pagkakataon nawawala tayo, pero pikit-mata kong hinahanap ang daan pabalik sa’yo. Ayokong mawala. Gusto kong manatili sa bagyo kasama ang pag-asang liliwanag muli ang kalangitan, iniisip na baka masama lang ang araw? Baka parehas na may pinagdaraanan. Alam kong mas malakas ang pagmamahal ko sa kahit anong bagyo at alon na dala nito pero anong gagawin ko hon, kung pati ikaw napapagod nang lumangoy kasama ko? Anong gagawin ko kung lumalabo na ‘yung dating malinaw? Anong gagawin ko kung yung dating kinakapitan ay pipilin nang bitawan? ‘Dun ako nanghihina.

At kung sa kinamalas-malasan, paano kita titigilang mahalin? Saan ko ibubuhos lahat ng pagmamahal na mayroon ako para sa’yo? Paano? Para akong magsisimulang muli sa buhay ko tulad ‘nung nahanap mo ako.

Ayoko na ulit marandaman yong Magsisimula na naman akong mawala. Tapos Malabong mahanap pa…. Sana Sa Pagkakataong Ito Ikaw Na Nga Yong Babaeng Paninindigan Ako Hanggang sa Dulo.Mahal Kita At Sapatna Yun Para manatili akong Mangarap Na balang araw makakasama kita habambuhay.Salamat sa Pagmamahal na Alay mo Hon.

She Ignored me!

I Do Love You But But But I started doubting myself and everything and loosing interest,Do you remember sa fb account na issue nun? jan nagstart ang pagkawala ng interest and nag umpisa na akong magdoubt.second i hate being IGNORED.to the point na pinaramdam at pinakita mo na WALA KANG PAKIALAM.

Have you experienced the feeling of being ignored? When you are ignored by your family, relatives, colleagues, friends, or the person whom you love. It hurts the most when you are ignored by your family, close friends, and the person whom you love.

I know how it feels when you are ignored and cornered. I have felt this feeling. I know how it feels when no one wants to talk to you. When no one wants to sit beside you. When they turn their faces on seeing you. When they make you feel unwanted. When they make you feel worthless. When it seems like no one understands you or Love you!.

It feels like you should just run away to somewhere where there no one lives. It feels like it’s better to live alone than be among the people who don’t like you. Sometimes it feels it’s better to not exist at all. kaya deleted lahat ang mga social apps ko!

It’s a bad feeling. It feels like you are unwanted in this world alam mo ba yun. It feels like you are worthless. It feels like no one cares for you. It feels like no one loves you. It feels like you don’t belong here.

It’s a bad feeling…. kaya at this point feeling ko nahirapan na ulit akong tumanggap ng kahit anong words from any other.

Mahal na Mahal Kita pero hindi ko na alam if how to heal that broken side of me.

“IN THIS WORLD FULL OF IMPERFECTIONS”

We say lots of times na nobody’s perfect. Even the world is not perfect the way we want it to be. Ang daming mali at pagkakamaling ating nagagawa. There are broken friendships. Magkaibigang minsang nagtiwala sa isa’t isa. Magkaibang minsang nagsama sa ligaya, at mga pangamba. Pero bukas, sa susunod na mga araw at buwan, […]

“IN THIS WORLD FULL OF IMPERFECTIONS”